Gramsy welcomes her first grandchild into the world! 
Sublime joy (6 days old)
Moments after birth
Yet, I cannot recount this miracle without laying the foundation.
Dad’s memorial was held January 25th. Last year, right after dad’s death, I had brought mom to Mexico. It was a welcome reprieve to be repeated again this year with another time away with mom for spiritual edification. Suffice it to say, I truly enjoyed my time with my mom.
Above, is our last night away. Mom had such fun dancing on the Nauchez in New Orleans. We returned home Monday, a day late, due to plane engine trouble, completely exhausted after our very restful vacation, to find my baby sister had passed away, unexpectedly.
That story will remain with our family, yet the heartache of a parent losing a child can only be imagined by those of us that have not gone through it. Or, the heartache of a young man losing his mother… it is the same. Amidst the depths of this blurry, surreal sorrow, Lauren called to say that her baby would be induced 2 weeks early. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow? That would be Thursday! Able to change my flight and hotel, I washed clothes, packed, panicked, cried, felt terrible leaving my mom on her own. Felt terrible leaving my nephew sorting through his mother’s things and packing everything up on his own. Yet, Lauren’s baby was being born, and that took priority.
First photo. Daddy Aaron took a selfie with William moments after he was born that I received 3 minutes after touchdown.
Technology is a beautiful thing. We touched down at 4:22. I checked my texts to find Lauren had gone into a c section at 4:10. I was imagining tearing through the steely sides of the plane with my bare hands and fleeing over the tarmac like Superwoman to the hospital. Instead, we were waiting for a gate. At 4:27 we all received a photo of William Dugan born 4:24pm February 12, 5 pounds and 1 ounce, 19 inches long. I cried. “That your grandson?” The man beside me pointed to the image on my phone. I nodded. He told the steward. There was an announcement and cheering. I was still crying. Aaron’s sister, Amy, texted me. “We are here to pick you up!” I respond: “Isn’t he beautiful; I am crying!” “Yes, he is beautiful! We are too!” Amy and her mom were in the car, tears flowing.
Greeting one another, still teary-eyed, we grabbed my luggage and Amy drove as we wound our way to the hospital on the freeway through rush hour, spurring all traffic aside. Into the hospital, up the elevator, stairs, I really don’t recall where we went, but remember entering the room: halo over baby in dad’s arms.
Aaron and Lauren had just arrived in their room after the surgery seconds before. I really did arrive in time!
Oh, the joy. The inexpressible joy. This bundle of boy. Smelling sweet and salty and of the heavens.
Somehow, I imagine, he and my sister passed one another though the stratosphere. Such deep sorrow. Such abounding joy.
He is born! He is perfect! He is ours!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And if you have never heard this song from “The Messiah” before, by Handel, now is the time.
Heading home from the hospital!
So many mixed emotions and you have captured them beautifully. Congratulations on the birth of William. My thoughts are with you as you grieve your sister’s passing, too. Take care Valerie!
Thank you ever so much for you kind kind words, Gail.
Sincerely, sincerely,
Valerie
Valerie:
Congratulations to Everyone.
What a beautiful Boy!
There is no feeling that can match being a Grandma. I have four.
God has truly blessed you.
I also want to say that my heart is with you as well as my prayers in your grief. I have also lost my Daddy and 5 siblings.
If you need to talk or vent or cry, just let me know.
Charlie
What a lovely heartfelt offer, Charlie. The loss of your father and 5 siblings has paved a long hard road for you to be traveling on. I find joy in supporting those around me grieving and knowing that my support it offering strength and solace. My own grief is real, but so far (touch wood), I have been blessed with the capacity to deal with grief and to manage it within my soul so that it is honoured and not destructive. And, oh, the further one goes down that road, the greater the capacity for joy within the heart, no? Four grandchildren? Bravo!!!
Hugs,
Valerie
Dearest Valerie, my heart goes out to you for both the joy and the sorrow you have gone through this past while. One of my favourite songs by Harry Chapin comes to mind “All my life’s a Circle”.
Take good care <3
Laureen…
Thank you so much for your kind words. When you mentioned the song, I just had to smile – then laugh. Years ago, skiing with my Mary Butterworth (name of a school) colleagues in Lake Louise, we were driving around a parking lot, late at night, passengers more than a little inebriated singing it to the top of our lungs.
Hugs
Valerie
Dear Valerie: what an emotional roller-coaster! My thoughts are with your family.
You are so sweet, Miss Ginger. Truly. Truly.
Valerie,
you have captured all those emotions so wonderful…….
Take care
Dear Annette,
Apparently we are both going through similar losses and hopefully, you will find joy in your day, as I find with William – and AA and Lauren. What a lovely, lovely little family unit this is. This baby is so blessed.
Hugs to you!
Valerie
Tears welled up in my eyes as I read your post. Your feelings are palpable. Life is so bittersweet. All my love to you guys.
Mercedes!
Thank you so very much! Wonderful to hear from you! Would love to see you and your little gal. Just missed Rachel the other day at Lauren and AA’s.
XOOXOX
Dear Valerie,
Your words captured ‘love and life’……..
I suspect your sister and little William crossed paths and smiled…..
Namaste.
Marilyn
Dear Marilyn,
Thank you so very much for reaching out. I am completely gobsmacked by how many of my readers are taking and making the time to send support my way through comments, messages, etc. Weak in the knees. I am so appreciative.
I hope you can feel a great big tight hug from me right back to you!
Valerie
I am in tears of joy and sadness
My deepest sympathy to you and your family in losing your sister. Congrats also Gramsy on the birth of William.
Joy and Sorrow. What a roller coaster of emotion. Thinking of you
Lynne
Condolences and congratulations! One of my dear mother,s best remembered expressions: “When one leaves,another comes to fill the void!” C’est la vie!…
Thank you so much, Elaine.
Big hug to you,
Valerie
Hi Valerie,
I was searching for a recipe for sour cherry pie filling when I came across your website and what looks like a wonderful recipe. I then went browsing around I read the story of all you your are going through. What a sad and difficult time having your beautiful sister die so suddenly. Then to have your first grand baby born so soon afterwards. Such a mix of emotions I just get tired thinking about what you are going through. I also had a grandson born in February on the 24 by C-section to our daughter and son-in-law. All are doing well.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Marjorie,
What a lovely message. Thank you for taking and making the time to write it! First, you will love the pie filling. I can alter it for you if you need to make it without a Thermomix. 🙂
Second, I just got home late last night after a month in Salt Lake City with my grandson and daughter and son-in-law. It was a wonderful, glorious month. He is thriving.
And what a thrill for you! A new little grand baby in your family! I sure hope you live closer to your grandchild than I do.
Yup, it has been a difficult time… and a miraculous time. …. the best of times, and the worst of times….
I hope to meet you within the pages of my recipes again in the future.
Big hug,
Valerie
I was Googling Linzers because I lost my recipe..came upon your blog and jined..and then it led me here.
So many things happened.I cannot imagine..all at once..and feeling you are needed everywhere.
Thank God for the miracle of birth.
I am a nana..and this baby will fill your heart and soul with unimaginable joys.
Lovely family.
My sympathies on the loss of your beautiful sister..
Dear Monique,
What a lovely, thoughtful message. Thank you so much – first, for popping into my website to peek at the recipes I love to share, but most importantly, for taking the time to actually make a personal connection. That is the main reason I do what I do… and I kick my heals up every day there is a comment of any kind, but to read such a personal message was deeply gratifying. You did provide solace to the soul this wintry morning.
Big hug,
Valerie
Haven’t made this cake for a couple of years, but want to make it for Christmas. I was afraid I might not find your site again. So glad I was able to find you again. I’m so sorry for your loss of your father and sister. May God give your family comfort.
I hope your mom is doing well. I loved the pictures of her making the cake.
Merry Christmas and congratulations on your new circle of life. With kindness, Pam Penick
Dear Pam!
Are you speaking of my mom’s Angel Food Cake recipe? Or the Christmas Cake recipe? I can send you the link if you didn’t find it on my site… thank you so very much for your lovely message. My heart is warm on this cold blustery Winter Day thanks to you!
Happy Holidays and please let me know how it turns out!
🙂
Valerie