Vanja met Zoka first. Vanja’s dad underwent double bypass surgery, so he went to be with him during that time. Nikola and Snezana had just moved into the shack-like house across the lane from Vanja’s parents in Bijeljina, Bosnia, with their son Zoka and Snezana’s parents. He was shocked to find out that people were actually living there. The building is about 20 feet long x 11 feet wide, and is divided in two, with two separate doors. Each one has a window. The parents live in one side, and his daughter’s family in the other. The one room they each live in had no running water. They used an outhouse at the back, and Nicola was given permission by the owner of the property to run a hose to get water from his house for their personal needs. Nikola built a typical outdoor sink, and ran the hose to it. Bathing was done indoors, having to heat the water. They furnished the room with a small table and two pull-out couches. They brought a deep freeze and an old stove with them. They washed all clothes by hand. Nikola built a cupboard on one side of the room for them to use for their kitchen area.
See the two doors? One on the left, beside the window, and the other on the right under the makeshift canopy.
Here is his sink, with the outhouse in the background covered by old mattresses for insulation.
Vanja’s parents had welcomed them, as only Pava could, with her insatiable love for little children. Her compassion for their situation had her over every day, visiting and trying to be of help in some way. Nikola and Snezana soon became very important people in Pava and Petar’s life. When Petar needed to go to the hospital, Pava ran to them with her panic, and Nikola drove him there with Petar’s car. Pava and Petar understood what Nikola and Snezana were going through as displaced refugees from the Bosnian war with no place to go until they found this “œhouse”. It was not long before Snezana made the tiny little room into a cozy little home. Always spotless. Always tidy. Such a small space needed to be, to be a home for her little family.
Pava offered them her bathroom for bathing purposes when she stopped by one day and saw Snezana bathing little Zoka in a big tub filled with heated water on the floor in the middle of the icy winter. They would absolutely not impose.
This first year, Vanja bought their firewood for the winter. How would they survive it? They barely had anything. They are very proud and independent and were very embarrassed by his gift at first, then very humbled by it when he was able to show them how much having them close to his parents meant to us. (Also, he had it delivered to their property, so it was pretty difficult for them to refuse it.)
See Snezana’s beautiful little garden. The lot was completely overgrown with weeds when they inhabited it, and she has turned it into a little miniature paradise of her own.
The next summer, Nikola was able to get permission from the city to get his own water and dug it in underground and to his little self made kitchen himself. So now they had water inside. But, only cold water. However, that was great progress for this little family. When we came together that next summer following Vanja’s fall visit, we brought a few little gifts for them and for little Zoka, a pair of “œrollies”. They were really “œin” at the time, and we brought a pair for Vanja’s nephew, as well. I will never forget the look on little Zoka’s face. Complete disbelief. They had such fun together with their “œrollies” that summer. We were so excited to give them and so happy to see his joy.
Nikola and Snezana crossed the lane to join us for dinner our last evening with Vanja’s parents, and after the meal, Snezana held out a parcel for me tied so neatly in a little green plastic bag. I was deeply touched. Particularly by the look on her face. I was also embarrassed and incredulous at the same time. I took this offering in my hands, and untied the perfect little string bow. Inside was an immaculate white crocheted doily that was large enough to cover a small table. I was stunned knowing she had made this with her own hand, and very aware of the time it takes to make such a piece. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Tears still fill me when I think of this sacrifice of her time for us.
Here we are, at her outside table. See the crocheted doily on it? Amazing. And, then, they bring out all of the best that they have.
Last year, Vanja went on his own again, and bought them detergent for their newest little addition to the quality of their life: a new little used washing machine. There is no room for the detergent there, so he left it at his mother’s house for them to get it as they need it. When we arrived this summer, over they came later on the first evening we were there. Always immaculate, so mannerly, so formal and so warm all at once. Clearly, they have become very close, and very good comfort to Vanja’s parents, and they, to them. When we speak, Snezana’s eyes are deep and full of meaning. As, I speak English and she speaks Serbo-Croation. She always smiles with her hand over her mouth as she can’t afford to fix her teeth, and is embarrassed by them. She has a beautiful face and a beautiful little presence about her.
Little Zoka received straight 5’s in all areas of his schooling this year. He was the highest in his class, and received the certificate he is pictured holding so proudly, above. His parents sacrifice everything for him. His father wanted to buy him a computer. He is just turning 12 and he wants him to be able to have all of the advantages in life. Pava was telling this to Vanja, as Nikola had decided to borrow the equivalent to 750 dollars Canadian that the computer would cost him. He would have to pay it back over 5 years with considerable interest, but that is what they decided to do. Vanja spoke to Nikola immediately and offered to lend him the money without interest. This was such a blessing to them, and so effortless for us. When we went to see it last night, I was so thrilled. A computer like that in Canada would be at least 1500 Canadian dollars. They got a fantastic deal for little Zoka. The desk you see in the photo was only 40 Canadian dollars, here! Suffice it to say, that Vanja made some special arrangements for the payments with Nikola, and gifted an amount of the loan to little Zoka. It is hard for them to let us give, but they work so hard, deserve so much and are raising an incredible little child under the most difficult circumstances in the happiest little home.
We feel blessed to be a very small part of their lives, and sad to know how many, many more families just like them are so close by. Baby steps.
See the door beside the computer table to the right. The wall butts up against it, and you can see the other walls behind the couch in the second photo. That is how small their little home is. If I had not experienced this on my own, I would not have believed that such good people could be living in circumstances raising a child in today’s world. Experience is a mind opening phenomenon.
Congratulations, Zoka! You are my little hero!
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